Why though? Just as I dared to enjoy the fairly temperate end to 2015 and pushed the worrying thoughts about Global Warming to the back of mind (along with my Amex bill, because, holidays), 2016 blew in some bottled-up deep freeze! Of COURSE, we were signed up to be the smiley "door greeters" on the first day of my son's pre-school. Nothing says "Happy New Year!" quite like chattering it while standing in an open doorway with the wind whistling through your bones. Winter is definitely here to stay.
My intention to write everyday has already been blown to bits, because with tiny people in residence, winter in our apartment doesn't mean central heating and hot chocolate. It means a constant, never-ending time-warp of runny noses, nighttime wake-ups, and whining. SO, so much whining. And to top it all off - it's the gift that keeps on giving.
Ah yes, the cyclical hell created by the trifecta of cold weather, school starting, and the unavoidably crowded petri-dishes known as Holiday parties, makes for a pretty gruesome start to the new year. The second the baby is better, the kid gets it, and the second he's better, one of us gets it. Let me tell you about the TORTURE that is post-nasal drip. That annoying feeling you get while sleeping when you're in the thick of a cold is magnified x100,000 in babies. Naptime is all too brief, and the poor, exhausted baby can't sleep more than an hour at a time at night. But wait! There's more! Order now and you also get to physically suck the snot out of your screaming infant, as he uses every iota of his considerable strength to propel away from you, all the while being forcibly restrained on your lap, leading you to fear that you may inadvertently break his neck, so you ease up a little, which allows escaping slime to whip through the short distance between your bodies, landing squarely on your glasses and face. That said, I do love the Nosefrida. It's amazing and so, sooo disgusting.
It's as if we're being Punk'd, but unfortunately Ashton Kutcher isn't waiting to jump out of my bathroom (On second thought, Thank God; I'd be mortified if he saw what went on in there).
I spent the week between Christmas and New Year in pajamas on the sofa, ordering the family's meals on Seamless, and generally woe-betiding myself while deflecting the age-old query on every child's lips "But what are going to DO today, Mommy?!" Also, maybe secretly hoping that being sick would magically trim a couple of pounds off my Holiday figure. Spoiler: It didn't. Oh, I also spent some time quietly cursing out the dog, who's absolute FAVOURITE season is...winter! That bloody dog though! He is immune! I suppose any creature who shoves his face into feces and street-garbage on the daily eventually becomes the epitome of health. Note to self.
Being sick before kids: Lazy days, Neflix marathons, Chinese-food, 12-16 hours of restorative sleep.
Being sick after kids: Lying in a heap and hoping they'll stop asking me questions/squealing at me, tearfully wishing I was with my mum, downing Dayquil arbitrarily, what is sleep again?
All in all though, I still managed to make it to Soho House for a lively and fun New Year's party with friends, the best part of which was the live performance by Young MC, because I didn't know who he was, thus making me feel young. *smug emoji*
So, to my darling children, this post-nasal drip tastes divine. Thank you! And to everyone else: Here's to a Happy and Healthy New Year! Unless you have babies or small kids. Then just focus on being happy, perhaps? You'll probably have a healthy summer though, so, silver linings.